


|| i'm here with you. ||

by simplysalty



Series: midnight musings [5]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Very Lightly Implied Sexual Content, an attempt at least, idk man, like really really lightly implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 13:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18852304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplysalty/pseuds/simplysalty
Summary: Roy wakes up in the middle of the night crying, so his lover helps him calm down.





	|| i'm here with you. ||

* * *

 

The screams followed him everywhere, echoing in his mind endlessly. The smoke, the rubble, the endless fields of corpses,  _that chilling apathy that numbed his mind_. Everyday streets on sunny days twisted into the memories of desperate shouting, calling for their husbands, wives, sons, daughters, telling them to  _run_ , to escape the  _monster that he had become_. He hated how the ringing of explosions in his ears felt ever so familiar, almost  _comforting_  in how they made his chest tighten.

The scorched bodies’ sick stench still felt as if it lingered on his skin, the smoke and ash still clinging to him no matter how hard he tried to get rid of it as the shower water cascaded down. His breaths would grow ragged as his fingers trembled, nails digging into his arms as he hugged himself tightly.

All of the  ~~friends~~  soldiers that had fallen, going down so easily, a  ~~precious life~~  pawn smothered out of existence with the mere pull of a trigger. All of the  ~~human beings~~  primitive beasts that had grabbed at his ankles, their blood and tears smearing onto his uniform.

**_The bile gathered in the back of his mouth, nausea and weakness overtaking him as he sat at his desk, trying to maintain his composure, going through his papers._ **

The sounds of suffering and agony clawed at his ears, remembering all the times  _he_ had been the one to take a life, remembering all the times  _he_  had been the one to coldly stare down at a fallen Ishvalan,  _remembering all the times he had been just like all the other heartless monsters that slowly grew around him_.

**_The image of yet another harmless innocent being burned by his hand made his breath catch in his throat, eyes always snapping wide open, only then realizing how tense his shoulders had gotten, only then realizing the pain stinging at his chest, only then realizing the silent hysteria he had begun._ **

**_The world was burning as bones snapped and screams sliced through the air, the only sound he could hear besides the explosions and gunfire. The indifference that showed on his face couldn’t betray his feelings any more, feeling as if he could just break down and cry at the sheer number of lives he had stolen, the amount of families he had torn apart, the amount of friends he had seen die in those same medical tents._ **

**_His body shook violently as he grabbed at his hair, eyes wide as the tears came pouring out, lips parting to let out a scream, a scream of frustration, self-hatred, suffering, agony, screaming for everything he had done, all the sins he had --_ **

“Roy?”

The man gasped for air, fingers clutching his head as if he would die if he ever let up, curled up in the bed, sweat coating his body, but it was much  _colder_  than that he had just before he had tried falling asleep.

But of course he’d just wake up again.

A careful hand placed itself on one of his and he froze, chest heaving, breaths uneven and disorganized. Roy hated how he almost felt  _afraid_ to look over his shoulder at the woman who had been sleeping beside him,  _afraid_  of how much she may hate him, how much she may be afraid of  _him_ , but of course he instead felt a gentle kiss at the nape of his neck.

“Shh...it’s okay, Roy. You’re safe. No one’s hurt. Everything is okay.”

How accustomed she was to this almost disturbed him, knowing how many times he’d fallen apart when she was next to him.

“...sorry. You were sleeping, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t matter right now. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”

“You’re going to leave in the morning, aren’t you? Like you always do.”

There was no bitterness in his voice, the words coming out as murmured disappointment. When she turned him around, Roy didn’t resist, his coal black eyes meeting with hers, so much softer, so much more innocent. Her fingers drifted up to cradle his face, thumbs trailing around his cheekbones, her gaze seeming to be searching for something. With a hesitance which didn’t quite suit him, his arms loosely wrapped around her, pressing his face into her chest, forehead pressing against her neck.

“I’ll stay if you want me to. I don’t want to leave you like this.”

His embrace grew a little tighter, but she made no comment, merely humming a slow lullaby into his hair, shutting her eyes in relief as his breaths began to steady. Roy choked down a single sob, sniffling once, holding her as tight as he could without suffocating her.

“Just...please don’t...”

Her silence was accompanied by her tenderly combing her fingers through his hair, enough of an answer to give him what he wanted. She kissed him, something he accepted, albeit a little slowly seeing as he was emotionally strained. But she understood, she always did.

“Go back to sleep, Roy. I’m here with you - everything will be okay. So get some rest, please?”

The man said nothing before he shut his eyes, feeling her tug the blankets back up so their naked bodies could be protected from the cold. She may not be his yet, but if he had any goddamn say in it, she would be soon. But that wouldn’t be _too_ soon, seeing as he didn’t want to keep waking her up like this.

“Don’t leave me.”

She chuckled.

“Never.”


End file.
